What people with psychosis taught me

May 19, 2013 § 2 Comments

I had the privilege of working with people suffering from psychosis for two years. Since our roads grew apart, there hasn’t been a single day that at least one of them crosses my mind along with a valuable shared memory. I feel richer having met them and I am so grateful that my life brought me into theirs.

I thought of sharing a few things from this experience that usually contradict the stereotypes connected to them.

(All that with the sincere understanding of how challenging and demanding it is for the families dealing with psychosis. 40 hours per week will not make up for a lifetime. Also, the patients I worked with were severely institutionalized after long term hospitalization counting up to 40 years. Thus, what follows does not of course represent the total population. It is filled with my subjectivity as a person intentionally, instead of a mental health professional’s testimony).

1) People with schizophrenia are afraid of violence (both verbal and of course physical). They are at least as afraid of you as you are of them. The difference is, they have a reason for it.

2) They have an amazing intuition. They can sense if you’re down or if you had sex the previous night. They can see through you like no family member of yours will ever see.

3) They do have feelings. They bond with people and have preferences just like everyone else. It’s just that management of this is sometimes impossible thus they appear frozen and/or detached.

4) They have a great sense of humor often related to their own situation, gifting you with the most amazing sarcastic lines you’ll ever hear.

5) Many of them are well educated and extremely intelligent (often high above average). Some have a deep knowledge of specific interests and will make you feel completely clueless in a related conversation.

6) They can be loving and caring in their own way. They will at times try to show you how grateful they are for your presence in a way that will mark you forever.

7) It is much more difficult to “be” with them when they are “real” instead of when they’re delusional. The existential pain they experience can pierce your bones.

The rest, I keep in my treasure box. It’s been an honor.

Spoil Yourself

May 16, 2013 § Leave a comment

This morning I received these! My first tango shoes!!

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I fell in love the moment I saw them while browsing for tango shoes. It took me a while to browse them all but patience is a virtue my other half says.

As much of an easy choice this was, deciding to buy them wasn’t. Even though their price is justified for their limited production and the handmade component, my wallet couldn’t really afford them.

BUT! I tried to remember the last time I spoiled myself and well… it’s been a while. So, here we are. My shoes and I, ready to tango. With a blessing from Buenos Aires. What more can an aspiring tango student ask?

When was the last time you spoiled yourself? Do you regret it?

I know I don’t, cos this isn’t just another pair of shoes. They’ll be my partner while learning to tango, they’ll help me feel a bit more confident while attending the classes and just like me, as time goes by, they’ll learn to trust, let go and follow the right lead…

Pill of the day

May 13, 2013 § Leave a comment

1/4 of the way we hug when we sleep

3/4 of the dreams you share with me

Will you?

I made it!

May 9, 2013 § Leave a comment

Today I attempted a running workout for the very first time. You can easily realize I detest cardio workouts. As a result, even this tiny one was hard for me to follow. However, I had the sea by my side, a small breeze stroking my face and the picture of my very handsome man in my mind to keep me going.

So I made it. When I finished the whole thing and got the “well done” notification an instant smile came up (and a couple of watery eyes I have to admit). Joy and fulfillment. I realized at that very moment that all this time I was convinced I was incapable of such a thing. The most amazing sentiment filled my soul and at that very second, this is what I was listening to. What a perfect match (3:36 onward).

I ‘ve been mourning my lost beauty for 10 years now. I’ve decided to meet me again. Can’t wait to introduce myself to my world… I know I’ll fit better this time.

Try…

May 5, 2013 § Leave a comment

…to take a leap of faith.

The harder it is

the softer your heart.

The softer your heart

the better you are.

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May

May 1, 2013 § Leave a comment

Today I wanted to do something like this…

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or this…
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Instead I’m having a lonely, ordinary day. Alas! That too shall pass. 

 

 

Lately

April 30, 2013 § Leave a comment

It’s been like this

Where Am I?

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