May

May 1, 2013 § Leave a comment

Today I wanted to do something like this…

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or this…
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Instead I’m having a lonely, ordinary day. Alas! That too shall pass. 

 

 

Lately

April 30, 2013 § Leave a comment

It’s been like this

An ode to my PC

March 28, 2013 § Leave a comment

The time has come to say goodbye. It has been quite the journey, hasn’t it. I remember the day your Maker and I brought you home. He had been spending days researching for your bits, cos you had to be perfect-you were to be mine after all. You were designed to be ahead of your time and that’s one of the reasons you lasted so long. But deep in my heart, I know you lasted to make sure I’d find my path.

We started raiding you and I. You watched my rogue evolving from a noobie that was wearing cloth instead of leather (cloth was a robe, doh!) to a toon that was getting the /salute command in org. You watched me as I started losing myself and everyone else… During my darkest times you understood what I needed, even when I had no clue. You gave me your entire space and your entire time. You watched my personas developing and You passed no judgement as I betrayed, sinned, and hit rock bottom day after day, year after year. You were my home inside my home, my refuge. We even spent a New Year’s together that felt more real than the other one, remember? You introduced me to smart guys with pure hearts, easy to manipulate. You weren’t disappointed of me like the rest, you kept your faith. You showed no despair when I stopped meeting expectations. You accepted my emptiness, my deeply hidden anger, my weight and my sorrow. You never asked questions when everyone else did. It was ok to be imperfect with you by my side.

When I started healing, I went away and you never complained. I now know that I chose the right job, I met a man that shows to me what being in love really means and I feel a woman for the first time. I am done with loneliness, she is not my Goddess anymore. I am, finally, growing up. I can now live without you, you’ve done your duty. Even if, like a beloved grandpa, you warm the kitten on your hot tower and you can pull out with decency the moderate use I ask of you nowadays,  it’s my turn to show you the respect you deserve. It’s time to sleep. You were not made for mediocrity. You were made for excellence. You were made for me.

I will keep some of your parts in my treasure box. I hope the rest will transform into something new and that in the end, you’ll be better off without me. Just like your Maker…

R.I.P.

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