Wise tip of the day #5

March 16, 2013 § Leave a comment

Fastest way to lose weight:

1. Leave food on the counter

2. Kitchen door open

3. Talk on the phone

4. Kitty enters

Wise tip of the day #4

March 14, 2013 § Leave a comment

True love is when you apologize for constantly blowing your nose and he then looks straight into your eyes with affection and burps.

Wise tip of the day #3

March 13, 2013 § Leave a comment

– Do you have any straws left or should I buy?

– I thought I have a whole pack?

– Oh right… But those are all black.

Conclusion: Quit the dream of having a satisfied mother. Or ever meeting one.

Wise tip of the day #2

March 12, 2013 § Leave a comment

If you wake up shaking, sweating and breathless from a dreadful nightmare made in hell, call your other half. He/She will then talk to you about urine and everything will be back to normal. Fact.

Wise tip of the day #1

March 11, 2013 § Leave a comment

Use the wool program for your woolen clothes. Your legs won’t get longer for you to wear again those stockings. Don’t be bothered about your undies regarding the same issue. Your ass will get bigger.

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