March 16, 2013 § Leave a comment
Fastest way to lose weight:
1. Leave food on the counter
2. Kitchen door open
3. Talk on the phone
4. Kitty enters
March 14, 2013 § Leave a comment
True love is when you apologize for constantly blowing your nose and he then looks straight into your eyes with affection and burps.
March 13, 2013 § Leave a comment
– Do you have any straws left or should I buy?
– I thought I have a whole pack?
– Oh right… But those are all black.
Conclusion: Quit the dream of having a satisfied mother. Or ever meeting one.
March 12, 2013 § Leave a comment
If you wake up shaking, sweating and breathless from a dreadful nightmare made in hell, call your other half. He/She will then talk to you about urine and everything will be back to normal. Fact.